“This Book Is Gay,” a book readily available at teen sections of Iowa libraries across the state, and also on the shelves in at least a few public school libraries, has a pretty dark side. Our first two stories have touched a little bit on the grooming side of the book as well as the way the book undermines people of faith.
Today we get to the appalling parts. There will be many people who read about the first two parts and don’t see the big issue with the book. But there will a lot fewer of those people after reading this part…
Keep in mind this book is being shelved for “teens” in Iowa libraries.
Kids are presented with the question why is the gay scene “so druggie?”
And the answer is the stereotype isn’t fair because what club scene isn’t druggie?
“Clubbing and recreational drug use go hand in hand,” kids are told.
There is literally no denial about the drug use.
“Just because it’s commonplace doesn’t mean it’s right, sensible or legal. With drugs, as with sex, it’s ALWAYS your CHOICE. No one is forcing anyone to take drugs on the gay scene.”
Kids are then told about “chemsex” where people mix drugs and sex.
The kids are then told about using apps to meet others. Here is what it tells teens:
“It wouldn’t surprise me if, in a couple of years, we can download the idea of sex so convincingly that we won’t have to bother with the messy bodily fluids and pesky emotional stuff at all…
“You may come to establish that gay and bi men in particular do seem to quite like sex. OK, nearly everyone likes sex, but gay guys really seem to have cornered the market.”
And they’re told this is fine, so long as they always use a condom.
It lays out a step-by-step process for “sex apps.” You know, the book targeting teens:
- Upload a tiny pic of yourself
- App works out your location
- App tells you who the nearest homosexuals are
- You chat to them
- Because they are near, it is easy to meet up with them
If you’re “looking for the ubiquitous “fun,” teens are told to “be upfront about it and then no one’s feelings are going to get hurt.”
The book includes a “debate” on sex apps — the good and the bad. The good? You can get what you want quickly. It’s easy. It isn’t complicated. The bad? You find the same people. Teens are literally told:
“If people want casual sex, then something like Grindr is a must…”
The bad? Maybe the risk of meeting people off the internet…No. The bad is the men tend to be shallow and someone knew someone who got gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis from someone he met on Grindr. Finally one person notes they believe the apps are unsafe, but they give no reasons why.
After promoting the sex apps, then teens are warned about the risks. But even after noting the very real risks, the next page is full of “sex app tips,” such as…
*Include a picture of yourself
*Give your age, weight, height or people assume you’re old, fat and ugly
*If you’re “THAT HORNY that you want to do a ‘sex meet,’ meet the ‘trick’ in a public place for a drink first.” Teens are told this is much, MUCH safer to do before letting them into their house.
So, if explaining in a book shelved for teens how to use sex apps to meet gay people isn’t grooming, I guess I’m not sure what grooming is.
And that isn’t the bad part of the book. Chapter nine is called:
“The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex.”
So, consider this a “reader warning.” Only proceed if you can stomach some pretty messed up stuff. There will be pictures.
The chapter opens with a disclaimer warning it is about sex so younger readers who don’t feel ready for the “finer details” can skip the chapter. But it immediately says:
“Before you do, I’d like to remind you that we taught you all about straight sex when you were ELEVEN YEARS OLD during sixth grade. The fact that they didn’t also teach you what same-sex couples do is nothing less than institutionalized homophobia…This chapter is simply all the stuff teachers SHOULD be saying if they want to be inclusive of people with same-sex feelings.”
Buckle up, folks.
Did you know many LGBTQ+ people lose their virginity twice — once with each gender.
Teens are told a couple of stories about people losing their virginity at the ripe age of 16. One of those stories is about a 16-year-old hanging out a guitar shop near their house.
“The owner was older and married.”
This is the kid’s 16th birthday. Owner was “older and married.” Got it.
“As the morning went on we got more and more tactile until we were rubbing our crotches against each other. We managed to stop short of getting our knobs out in the shop, and he suggested that I come round to his house the next day on his day off when his wife would be at work to help him ‘wash his car.’ When I arrived, the car had already been washed, though it took us both a couple of hours to muster up the courage to do anything.”
They carried on seeing each other for a few months.
Things reach a new level of weird here…
Two men, teens are told, “can pleasure each other in a variety of fun ways.”
“Perhaps the most important skill you will master as a gay or bi man is the timeless classic, the hand job. The good news is, you can practice on yourself. The bad news is, each guy has become very used to his own way of getting himself off. Learning how to find a partner’s personal style can take ages, but it can be very rewarding when you do.”
The book then tells the teens:
“Something they don’t teach you in school is that, in order to be able to cum at all, you or your partner may need to finish off with a handie. A lot of people find it hard to cum through other types of sex. This is fine, and certainly not something you have to apologize for.”
Teens are then told a “GOOD HANDIE” is all about wrist action.
“Rub the head of his cock back and forth with your hand. Try different speeds and pressures until he responds positively. A BAD HANDIE is grasping a penis and shaking it like a ketchup bottle.”
Oral sex is next, but that section is called “blowies.”
“Oral sex is popping another dude’s peen in your mouth, or indeed, popping yours in his. There is only one hard and fast rule when it comes to blow jobs — WATCH THE TEETH. Lips and tongue, yes; teeth, NO.”
That’s what the book tells teens.
Then it gets strange as the book talks about “bumming.”
“It is a universal truth that many men like sticking their willies inside things. I suspect it must be biological. Well, in the absence of a vagina, gay and bi men make excellent use of the back door…Wanna know a secret? Straight people have anal sex all the time too. Another one? Straight men like stuff up their bums just as much as gay ones.”
And the book tells teens how to “prepare.” I’m not going to type those instructions. But there is like three pages worth. Teens are told all about lube and they can get it free with condoms from gay bars, doctors and clinics or buy it pretty much anywhere.
Fair warning, here is the image used for girl-on-girl sex:
Teens are told about fingers, oral and toys and strap-ons. The rest of the section is pretty vulgar and obscene.
Teens are then told about trans sex.
Once teens get past all of that, there is a section on the “promiscuity” of gay men. The author doesn’t attempt to deny it.
“In my survey, ONLY gay men reported having more than 20 partners in their lifetime, with several reporting they had had sex with more than 100. This is not meant to be shocking. It is simply a fact.”
One of the norms of the gay scene, the author writes, is promiscuity. After warning teens about the many STIs that could result from sexual activity, there’s a section on “saunas and sex parties.”
“As this is a guide to ALL things gay, it would be wrong of me not to mention the things most brochures would gloss over. In big cities all around the world, there are places that cater to gay men’s seeming obsession with sex.”
Saunas or “bath houses,” are “perfectly legal,” the book tells kids.
“People pay some money to enter and then have a bit of a sauna and some random sex. Again, this is fine as long as you’re safe.”
The book lists pros and cons of both monogamy and promiscuity. And I’m not sure it tries to seriously present “cons” of promiscuity:
*Loneliness
*Sitting at the freak table at weddings
And this leads to teens being told about open relationships, of course. The teens are presented with what the book says is “one universal truth of the universe:
“We all want to have sex with loads of people.”
And there are suggested or common rules for these open relationships presented to teens.
We’re almost done. But there are a couple more parts of the book I want to make sure teachers and school administrators and librarians and anyone else who may defend this book being in school libraries are aware of:
It says the BEST parent in the world is one who prepares for having a gay child from conception so they don’t “incorrectly” rag them as straight and cisgender.
OK, so those teachers and school administrators and librarians may not see a problem with that statement, but surely they don’t think kids need to know these words and definitions, which are listed in the back of the book:
*Glory hole: A hole in a wall or partition through which a man pokes his peenie.
*Rimming: Licking the bottom.
*Scat: Eating poop.
*Scissor sisters: A sexual position for two women OR an early 2000s electropop band.
*Water sports/golden shower: Peeing on people in a way considered sexy.
I know reading about the contents of this book is at least slightly disturbing for most of you — who are adults. I cannot imagine what it would be like for teens.
Yet Waukee Northwest Iowa High School and Iowa City City High both have the book in their school libraries. And public libraries across Iowa have the book on their shelves. Here is a list of where the book is:
Cambridge Memorial Library
Lied Public Library (Clarinda)
Cresco Public Library
Ames Public Library
Bettendorf Public Library
Bondurant Public Library
Kirkwood Community College
Coralville Public Library
Council Bluffs Public Library
Southwestern Community College
Davenport Public Library
Des Moines Public Library
Carnegie-Stout Public Library (Dubuque)
Ruth Suckow Memorial Library (Earlville)
Scott County Library System (Eldridge)
University of Iowa
Iowa City Public Library
Robert W. Barlow Memorial Library (Iowa Falls)
Marshalltown Public Library
Mason City Public Library
Newton Public Library
Osceola Public Library
Sheldon Public Library
Washington Free Public Library
Kendall Young Library (Webster City)
West Branch Public Library
West Des Moines Public Library
West Liberty Public Library
Winterset Public Library
Altoona Public Library (electronic resource)
Clive Public Library (electronic resource)
School libraries:
Waukee Northwest High School
Iowa City City High
Here are the first two stories about the contents of the book:
