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Out of respect for privacy and safety, the family wishes to remain anonymous but hopes this information will help other Iowa families.  

A few years ago, an Iowa father attended a doctor’s appointment for his mid-teen daughter for what he thought was a routine check-up. In an awkward conversation, the medical provider repeatedly referred to the daughter using male pronouns and an alternate version of her name. Confused, the father questioned what the provider meant by using the alternate name and male pronouns, but the provider non-verbally motioned towards the daughter. Basically, the father was left to guess of the intended news to be shared by his daughter and her provider which was that his daughter identified as transgender. As much as the father did not agree with this idea, he expressed his unconditional love and desire for his daughter to be happy and healthy.

In a short time after, the mother and daughter started seeking professional medical expertise in the field of transgenderism at the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics without the father’s knowledge. She was referred to a therapist who diagnosed her with Gender Dysphoria and, soon after, wrote a letter in support of beginning testosterone treatment. The father was surprised, by all of this information provided by his daughter, who also shared that she, her doctor, her mother and therapist were in agreement to begin hormone treatment as soon as possible. His daughter told the father that she did not need his support to move forward. Luckily, the doctor pulled back on starting treatment when the father got involved and insisted on a meeting. However, the medical team appeared prepared to start treatment with the consent of one parent. Ultimately, the father felt manipulated and guilted into believing that his daughter’s risk of self-harm and suicide would increase without treatment. The father was naive in thinking he could trust in the medical professional’s advice and recommendations, eventually relenting and giving consent to hormone treatment.  Today, the father has guilt about giving in.

It should be noted that the mother and father of this child are separated, never married, and the father is the primary health insurance carrier. He has not been privy to regular information, appointments or recommendations for his child by the medical providers or mother in real-time. Recently, he found that “My Chart” (online medical records portal) correspondence and data was not current and did not match the data and correspondence within his daughter’s records. The father doesn’t recall ever being contacted directly by a medical provider, as has always been the one to make contact after finding out bits and pieces of information. If it weren’t for him having access to vague insurance statements (after the fact), he wonders where things might be if he hadn’t intervened when and where he could.

The daughter’s quality of life continues to be one that includes depression and suicidal thoughts. The irreversible effects on her body have been made by hormone treatment. Being encouraged by medical professionals in Iowa (both doctors and therapists) to believe more gender affirmation operations will help her mental well-being, she is pursuing top surgery with the support of her mother, doctor and therapist.  Having just turned 18, the daughter will be able to make these choices, on her own, about this. Believing in our natural, god-given gifts, her father has made it clear to his daughter that he does not support surgery, which has put an unfortunate strain on their relationship.


  1. Very sad. My heart goes out to this father. More and more parents are no longer permitted to parent. Kids won’t recognize the problem with this until it is way too late.
    You need supernatural intervention. 2Cor 10:3-6


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