Today is Valentine’s Day. February 14. Hallmark holiday.
Regardless of how one views Valentine’s Day, I’m going to deliver a Valentine’s Day message to the men of America — where the heck are you?
For the last two years, moms have been fighting various insanities in education. Whether it is mask mandates, teaching Critical Race Theory, sexually explicit materials in libraries or anything else — more often than not I see moms at the forefront.
That needs to change.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying the moms have to go away and return to the kitchen never to be heard of again. But it sure would be nice to see more dads standing up for their kids, their country and our collective sanity when it comes to education.
After all, what the education system is demanding of children of moms, it is demanding of children of dads. And dads should care just as much about their children as moms — if not a little bit more (note that as someone who does indeed identify as a man, that may be a biased statement).
Children, friends, are a heritage from the Lord. And we are to train children up in the way they should go.
Throughout the Bible we are taught the husband is supposed to protect, provide and love. Men are to be the head of the household — that means we need to lead. It doesn’t mean we need to dictate. Unfortunately, there can be bad leaders as easily as there can be good leaders.
I am not convinced that men are leading in the way they’re supposed to or expected to anymore. I’m not sure why, but I believe it is a combination of women being encouraged to be more independent, which has erroneously been taken to mean women don’t need men to “lead” them. Men have also been somewhat neutered by culture.
What culture often refers to as “toxic masculinity” just simply isn’t. The idea that a man’s prime responsibility is to protect his wife and children from danger and violence is likely seen as sexist by many.
If you’re curious, some examples of “toxic masculinity” according to a quick Google search include telling boys to “man up” when they’re upset, justifying abusive and inappropriate behavior with the phrase “boys will be boys,” etc.
“Toxic masculinity can be defined as ‘the need to aggressively compete and dominate others and encompasses the most problematic proclivities in men,” according to Google.
Literally, there is a website that details the traits of toxic or unhealthy masculinity:
Unconditional physical toughness;
Physical aggression, fear of emotions;
Discrimination against people that aren’t heterosexual;
Hyper independence;
Sexual aggression or violence;
Anti-feminist behavior
There is literally one thing on that list that I would agree to be problematic in the way the author of that list likely intends.
One of the impacts of toxic masculinity is supposedly “male chauvinism.” The problem is what is chivalry and what is chauvinism.
A guy may hold a door open for a woman (which I still say he should), but some people may see that as chauvinism.
This website — Green Hill Recovery — states that “healthy masculinity” is encouraging men to be their authentic selves by addressing disrespect, expressing their emotions freely, encouraging compassion and kindness towards themselves and others, listening to experienced and validating feelings and checking in with male friends and loved ones.
Again, the prevailing winds of culture seem to desire neutering men and eradicating so-called toxic masculinity.
Gender roles are not an unhealthy thing. Gender roles are derived from the Bible, and, considering who wrote the Bible, it’s hard to argue with them.
While they can become unhealthy if defined differently than intended, they are also included in Scripture for a reason.
Men, like it or not, are responsible for their wives and their children. They are to be the example.
So when they withdraw from what is happening inside schools across the country, it creates conflict. Moms can — and should — certainly be engaged in their child’s education experience. But, just like anything else, dads should be right there to lead the way.
Where are they?
Yes, there are some out there who show up to school board meetings, show up to subcommittee meetings, show up to meetings with school administrators, etc.
But again, more often than not, it’s women out front confronting cultural crap. It should not be this way.
At risk of expressing some “toxic masculinity” here of my own, men are supposed to be the ones fighting battles. They’re supposed to be the ones defending not just their kids, but also their wives.
Mothers, wives are not expected to be the caretakers of their children as well as the warriors defending them from a culture that wants to corrupt their kiddos.
Obviously we’ve seen mothers more than capable of doing so, however. Still, men bring a whole different level of seriousness to such conversations.
Moms do a great job of standing up for their kids while going through obvious emotions, but dads have the capability of striking a chord that may be more likely to inspire change.
This isn’t to suggest moms quit speaking up for their kids. But I am suggesting — strongly — that men join their wives. And, if they’re not willing to lead them through this, then at the very least they had better be at their side.
I know men divert their attention from their families far too often — whether it’s work or sports or hobbies — but nothing is as valuable as their family. And they need to start showing they understand that.
The men need to step up. The men need to speak out. The men need to begin instilling some level of fear and ensure the concerns are heard by these school administrators and school board members in a way most women simply cannot. And again, that’s not a bad thing. Women are just made different than men and have different gifts.
Doctor Patrick Flynn explains this well. I encourage you to look it up. I will go back and find it when I get time.
In the meantime, what I’m trying to say is there is a time and place for righteous anger. And that time is now.
They’re ruining our kids. Nothing needs protecting more than our kids. And dads, that is our No. 1 job.
